The Giver: Comments On Others Blog Post

Andrea:

Fist Paragraph:

In your first paragraph you are missing some commas and apostrophes. You have a lot of run-on sentences. You start an Idea and you don't develop on it, you just say it and you don't give examples or something. I think it's too simple.

Second Paragraph:

You could have given more examples, like something in the book or something about you. Other than that, I think it was really good.
:D

Third Paragraph:

In the third paragraph when you said that they may change the rules because people are getting tired, you could have added some examples of why they were getting tired or what was being the same over and over again.

^_^


Tem:

First Paragraph:

Well, you were suppose to write 3 paragraphs. Anyway, I think that you repeat the same words a lot like when you said "Even though the community the Jonas lives in a "perfect" community" you repeated community twice. I think that you organized your ideas really well and it was really good. But you could have wrote some more. :D

Good Job :[)